There are many sacred rules when entering the men’s locker room before and after a workout. I will list just a few of the most important ones, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.

1. There will always be an old, stark naked man drying his butt crack when you enter. Accept it. It will one day be you.

2. If there are communal showers, there is no shame in keeping on a speedo, but if you are nude, soap facing the wall, because while everyone seeing your willy is ‘gay’, everyone seeing your butt crack is ok. Personally, I’d have no problem coming in and seeing two guys going at it hard core. I’d respectfully decline if asked to join, and who says I’m their type any way? Don’t flatter yourself.

3. A shirt and no shorts looks bizarre.

4. If you see that the scale is in kilos, you are dealing with a boxer, martial artist, or someone who loves the metric system. No matter how small they look, don’t mess with them. Looks can be deceiving.

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